November 20

Miss Waterman  having a dance with Mr. Kauffman

However one can comfortably go four months between having a happy opportunity to dance is entirely inconceivable to me.  I suppose it would be longer if I truly mean a happy opportunity, for in July my enjoyment of the ball I attended was certainly wanting.  This time, however, my heart could have burst with the happiness it contained.  I have never known such an enjoyable day as the twelfth.  Today I shall spend the time in pleasant reminiscing and recovery of perhaps a little too much merriment for the past few days.  I did not sit down but for the first two dances and found by the end of the evening I was completely exhausted.   I danced two with the Doctor, at least, I believe, once with Mr. Ramsey, once with Mr. Kauffman, once with Mr. Tumbusch, once with Mr. Cushing, and I am positive I have rudely forgotten the others I stood up with.  Despite what the Doctor often repeats, he is an utterly charming dancer.
My Masque was well received, and at once all knew what it was meant to be; a little vixen.  I fear my attire may have influenced  my behavior to a degree perhaps bordering unacceptable.  My sole savior was the level in which everyone else around me was involved in their own enjoyment.  Not a single creature noticed my inappropriate conversations and interactions, save of course the Doctor, who in his ever unwavering patience and attitudes said nothing, and only displayed a cocked brow of disapproval once or twice.  I think even he was engrossed in the evenings delights.  All in attendance looked wonderful, and the scene was that out of a fanciful painting. 

Low Tea with the very best of friends

My Aunt Elizabeth enjoyed her stay very much as well, and it was quite a treat to introduce her to the wonderful life I had cultivated in America.  Prior to the ball, Mr. Ramsey was good enough to invite the Tumbusches, the Doctor, Mr. Cushing,  Aunt Elizabeth, and myself to tea at his mother's tea room.  The fare was beyond comparison, and the company the best.  Post tea, we were away to Rock Castle, so that the Doctor may over-see the decorations for the evening, and so that I could show my aunt the beautiful grounds.  Whilst the men toiled away, she and I delighted ourselves with a tour of the grounds, and the family cemetery.  Since Gen. Smith was away we could not tour the house, but the day previous I was able to tempt a housekeeper into giving us a quick showing.  She was very charmed by the quaint house, and enchanted by the surroundings in which they were happily situated. 

To my dismay, she is to be sent back to England in just a few days time,  for she cannot be away for the entire season, and has too many pressing business matters to attend to remain gone for long.  It is unfortunate but unavoidable.  I asked her at the very start of her visit here about my family back in England, and upon the first time of my asking, she was quite furtive in her answers, and immediately engrossed herself in conversation with Mrs. Hegwood, and upon my second press for information, told me quite sharply that should I wish to know how everyone got on back home, I ought to send a letter.  I was so taken aback at the response, I dared not inform her my many letters that have gone unanswered.  It left me terribly uneasy, and I fear something is amiss, and I will never know what. 

The Covey's and the family enjoy cards

Earlier this week, the Hegwoods and myself were introduced to the Coveys, a very amusing couple who are the interested party in the property adjoining ours.  Mr. Covey is quite advanced in his years, with a second wife barely older than I.  She is a delightful creature, terribly doting and demure.  Mr. Covey is a tall balding gentleman of apparent deafness for everything he says is of an almost unacceptable volume, and you can be certain to repeat yourself two or three times if you do not speak as loud as he.  It took me only two kind questions and an observation before I wisely chose to cease communication with Mr. Covey and to converse with his little wife.  From her I have gathered they are delighted with the country lifestyle, having come from the high city living in Virginia, and Mr. Covey chooses to spend his retirement in quiet solitude. 

Post supper

They are of considerably fortune, and from Mr. Covey's first marriage will bring two daughters and a son when their house is completed and they take up residence.  One can only assume from the look of Mr. Covey that at least one of his children will provide me with a companion or some amusement.  Perhaps both or at least one of the Miss Coveys can sit one of our horses, and accompany me.  I would be surprised indeed if they could keep pace, but I suppose they can learn nonetheless.

 
I shall be mightily amused when they take up residence, and if nothing else I hope to find some folly of human nature to observe and make merry of to myself and Mr. Hegwood.

Miss Waterman dressed for the occasion

 

 

 

Miss Waterman and the Doctor enjoying a third dance together

Miss Waterman and the Doctor at yet another dance

A lively group for the last dance

October the 28th

T feels as though Summer began just yesterday, and that we were only just shaking off the last of Winter, instead of embracing the beginnings of Autumn.  I confess I am not prepared to accept Winter once again so soon, but it is to come as it always does, and will go away again, as it always does. It has, of course, signaled the concern for Mr. Hegwood's previous health issues, and if our Winter is not much more vicious than the Autumn has shown so far, I think we may be fortunate indeed that we shall have him at least one more year.

It has taken me some time to be accustomed to our new home, and I am indeed very pleased with it.  My bed chamber is very happily situated, though I am in want of more windows.  I am always in want of more windows wherever I am, so I suppose it is not a failing on the construction of the house.  I am so used to spending my time indoors interacting with my family between walls that perpetually feel as though they are going to tumble down upon me at any moment, that wandering through the spacious chambers of the new house makes me feel as though I shall be positively swallowed up and lost for good!  I am so pleased that the structure is finished that I am determined I shall not mourn the want of papers and paint for the walls, more furniture, and other decorative touches, which as I write I have hopes are en route from New York.

In the dull times where I do not have any correspondence to attend to, I have fantasized endlessly about the masquerade ball I will be attending the 12th of November.  It has most certainly been too long in between my last opportunity to showcase my skills as an accomplished educated young lady and the rare opportunities to perhaps slip something to the Doctor unheard by anyone else.  I do not intend to set propriety at naught, but I feel he is the sort of modest and unassuming man that one must encourage by any polite means possible.  Mrs. Hegwood I fear is turning into a rather ill suited influence, but she is certainly more amusing to me than anyone else I have in my immediate surroundings.

I sincerely wish that there was something more exciting and new to fill my pages with than construction on this or construction on that, or changes here and there, but sadly that is all that is filling my life in these drear weeks.  I have been so spoilt by the constant touring of the near states that this sedentary life I have found myself thrown back into sits very poorly with my active mind.  There can only be so many turns taken about the torn up space behind the house where there will be a garden one day, or perusing the little bit of wilderness close by on the west lawn, using the term wilderness as lightly as possible, for the smattering of trees left standing qualifies more as a small copse, than any sort of wilderness I am accustomed to.  Until I am able to have my hands on a horse again, I fear I shall be dreadfully bored, for I can only walk so far.  Mr. Hegwood is supposing the stables to be completed within a fortnight, and the pastures fenced completely within a month.  After that, Jack can be brought down from Albany, and my amusements extended. 

Rumor has circulated from town about the potential of the fifteen acres adjoining our property to be purchased by a well-to-do Virginian family, but we have seen not a soul upon the road past our property, and have heard not a name.  Abigail, Mrs. Hegwood and myself have lost hope that there is anything to this rumor, but enjoy speculating over supper and cards nonetheless.

October the 18th

 SHALL not fabricate excuses or plead constant diversions through the past handful of months, and state only in my most truthful way; I had entirely given up writing and all of its good it would do me. Though I suppose I cannot be wholly to blame, for not only had the desire completely left me, I did find myself constantly engaged in some task or another, and traveling all about the country with Mr. Hegwood and Abigail for sake of his constant business with the American troops scattered along the frontier, and at times the Doctor for the sake of pleasure. This war, though confusing and distressing to me in where my loyalties should lie in respects with my new family and my new duties to the Hegwoods as such, has provided me with scenes never before imagined in my sheltered mind. This countryside is truly magnificent, and not even the weather could put me off my enjoyment for too long. I shall attempt, in the spirit of brevity, to recount what I have enjoyed since last I picked up this diary.

June was rather devoid of company, I had only the beginning of the month with a trip to Locust Grove, well into the Kentucky territory, bordering Ohio, where Mr. Hegwood had business and where also I was privileged once more in seeing the Doctor discuss his skills with interested parties. I have seen it enough times at this point, to give the speech myself, but I still delight so in watching him amuse his guests.

At Cragfont, home of General Winchester

 Later that month General Winchester here in our state of Tennessee hosted a garden party on his lovely estate, and fun was had by all, though it rained and was less than pleasant the entire day. Some of us read poems and pieces from Shakespeare whilst others amused us by singing. I discovered Mrs. Gatliff has a truly lovely singing voice.

July brought a trip to Corydon, Indiana, where again I was requested to go thither with Mr. Hegwood, who finding it necessary to have an attorney closer to his new home in Tennessee set forth in retaining one he had heard a general good account of.

At Corydon

It was a very hot weekend, almost unbearable, and luckily for us, the Doctor was retained as well by Mr. Hegwood, who knowing July to be very warm in America, spared no expense on my health and safety.

On the lawn at Locust Grove

His business was conducted in a short time, and from there we travelled immediately to Locust Grove again, where quite a festival happened every year, and I was very excited to attend, though again it was quite warm and at one point I fear I did succumb to the heat whilst in my riding costume. The ball the evening of was less than I had hoped in regards to enjoyment, but it is never a bad thing to dress in ones finest and be seen by all.

With the Doctor and his two eldest daughters at the ball.

The Doctor was much attentive to me the course of the weekend, which I quite took pleasure in, as there is always a grand number of ladies vying for his attention, and sometimes I feel quite swallowed up in them and forgot.

August brought a reprieve for us all, and boasted only one party held at Rock Castle, very near to us; not but a half an hours carriage ride. General Daniel Smith, always very obliging of a host, made sure to have a pleasing gathering for us all, and quite a sophisticated Garden Party I did not think possible so far from the society of England, but I was happily surprised.

The attendees at the Garden Party at Rock Castle

 Though I was not entirely recovered from a recent cold, I was determined to go, and not at all sorry for it. Many friends arrived, and some new acquaintances were formed.

September I do not believe was spent ONCE at the Plantation at all, which was for the best as the finishing construction was to take place and there truly was no room for us in the slightest to be free of perpetual inconvenience. The first weekend found us gleefully at the Fair at New Boston, where I eagerly anticipated the arrival of my dearest and most beloved cousin Lady Georgiana Sully and Sir Thomas, accompanied by their good friends Captain and Mrs. Cartwright, who I was delighted to have the opportunity of knowing better. Though the weather was in no way hospitable, (Saturday was wretchedly hot and Sunday stormed) It did not diminish my pleasure at shopping and being with dear Georgiana. Even the Doctor could not distract me from their company, and added to the ever delightful company of Mrs. and Mr. Cooper, and the introduction to the ever lovely and sweet Ms. Bosworth, I was quite at my leisure to enjoy myself.

The Ladies from the Archery Competition

From Ohio and the fair, we traveled immediately to the Farnsley-Morman Estate upon the Ohio River in Kentucky for the anniversary event of my meeting the Doctor, and all the dear friends who have kept me so pleasantly happy since I have been in America. I once again competed in Archery, (though did not perform nearly as well as last year), enjoyed tea with all of my good friends and even felt so sentimental as to toast their health, and give them my sincerest thanks for their unwavering kindness to me. Mr. and Mrs. Tumbusch hosted a small country dance in the evening which we all took pleasure in. That weekend, as well, rained for the better part, though when the sun did appear it made it quite fine. Again, Mr. Hegwood was required to conduct his business in the military quarter, and our tour continued to Indiana once more, where we spent a very soggy though no less pleasant weekend at the Muster on the Wabash.

A tea and discussion of Ladies Fashion

There I was introduced by the wonderful Mrs. Cooper to the equally charming Mrs. Birkenbach and the wonderfully sly and witty Mrs. Burns, in whose company I was very pleased. We stayed only one day, as the rain was too much on Sunday to get anything accomplished.

October brought in its first weekend an opportunity for me to venture without Mr. and Mrs. Hegwood, and only myself and Abigail as the Doctor invited me particularly to accompany him to spend a lovely weekend with mutual dear friends, the Tumbusches whilst he gave yet another demonstration to their club of interested friends and acquaintances. Because it was a rather special instance, and because it provided an opportunity of interacting with the Doctor uninterrupted and without distraction, I had a new suit of warm weather clothes made up, including a burgundy wool pelisse made up with a military style and a new fashionable hat to match, with black accents. I believe it did the trick, if not securing him to me forever, of amusing him in the fact that I preened and fussed all the time there. From there we travelled immediately to Indiana once more for a great gathering at Mississinewa. I had previously thought the Fair at New Boston great, until the moment I arrived on the grounds of this event. There was almost too much to behold, and I am sure I spent my entire year's allowance in the first day, but I had been so good at so purchase very little at any of the other festivals I attended previously to somehow im my mind make up for my extravagances. I saw very little of the Doctor the majority of the weekend, as he was....engaged elsewhere, and I was enjoying too much my new intimate friend, Ms. Bosworth, in whose attendance I cannot perceive any disappointments. Mrs. Cooper, always a favorite of mine, and the Mrs. B's, as well as Mrs. Fast were also such cheering company as to hardly feel the absence of the Doctor. Saturday night I discovered I was invited to a supper with Lady Harmon and her wonderful husband. I had never before experienced such delights as dining Al Fresco in a wonderfully grand tent! Lady Harmon spared no expense, and we all were attended to very well, and the company was made of Myself, The Harmons, The Doctor, Mr. Ramsey ( a good friend of the Doctor's) and the Coopers. Our conversation was lively and refreshing, and I felt very fine stepping into the ball, which was little more than a country dance, but was amusing regardless. I danced only one dance with a quiet American Solider, a Mr. Achenbaur, and it was as very merry reel indeed. We retired early, however, as all were exhausted, as to fully enjoy Sunday's diversion.

From Indiana, we finally made our long travel home, and I was received at the Plantation with tears and boisterous cheers for welcome, and I confess I was truly pleased to be home again. The Doctor was bid rest at the plantation as long as he needed before traveling himself home, and he took the opportunity to do so, and Mr. Hegwood took the opportunity in showing him the newly finished House.

The First Floor

I myself partook in that pleasure, and awed over the work that had been done in our long absences. It was a rather grander house than I had anticipated, with a lovely brick exterior upon the front in a fashionable Flemish Bond, the rest being stone, and second story balcony from the modest ballroom facing the front drive. The exterior was rather plain still, but the shutters were fashionably painted a crisp white, and the front step clean and simple with the large front doors painted to match our shutters. The same front doors opened to wide and breezy front room ready to receive even the highest of guests, with a door immediately to the back leading to a soon-to-be constructed back porch. To the left was the door leading to the family wing, and to the right the guest wing. Our familial wing hosted three bedrooms, the private breakfast room and informal dining space where we shall take our meals without guests, music room, and small parlor that faced the front of the house so as to allow observation for Mrs. Hegwood and I to observe when guests may arrive. Mr. Hegwoods library and adjoining study were opposite the hall, and allowed him a view of the acreage that would turn into his planned pastures for the breeding of his horses. In the guest wing it boasted three more bedrooms, the dining room, a grand expense indeed, the  drawing room, the finer parlor room, and adjoining the dining room by solid french doors was the guest breakfast room.

The Second Floor

One separate staircases lead from the family's amusement rooms to the bedrooms above, a second in its exact image in the guest quarters, and a back staircase that lead from the servants corridor from the kitchen to the ballroom and into the dining room's pantry for our more formal dinner services. A set of moderate french doors on each wall led one to the guest wing and the other to the family rooms. An open hallway with no walls leads from the corridor next to the informal dining space in the family quarters to the large kitchen, which above it hosts the servants quarters. The house only wants now for furnishings which we shall wait upon from the Hegwood Estate in Albany, and in papers for the wall and paint. The Doctor was put up in the extra bedroom in the family wing, as it was foolish to put him up in the guest quarters with only him to chase off the quiet and cold of an empty wing, as well as the fact the room itself was designed with him solely in mind. He stayed only one day before returning to his own home, to be with his long missed children and to attend his business so long neglected by pleasure.

In my absence, Autumn has taken hold of the country, and the many beautiful trees of varying breeds upon our property have begun to slowly take on their October colors. The weather so far has been so fine that I have taken to writing my correspondence out of doors beneath the tree which is so happily situated within view of Mr. Hegwood's library, thus including the pastures-to-be were I to look in the opposite direction of his window. Mr. Hegwood must know me full well, for whilst gone he requested a comfortable seating arrangement in the form of a bench with pillows, and a table in which to set my things to be installed just so, for when spring comes, I shall spend my time watching the foals gambol about and cause mischief. Though it has been a negligible amount of days since last seeing and communicating with the Doctor, I was so used to spending time in his company I have found myself feeling rather devoid without the conversation. For that matter, of any of my friends. I have sent out a number of letters reaching out for my companions to aide me through this soon to be long lonely winter, and I hope they rally and spare me the loneliness the season can bring.

Ladies Archery

Miss Waterman and her new bow take part in a Ladies Archery competition hosted by her friend, Mrs. Cooper of Ohio.

May 22

With the spring season in full bloom, as it were, I have found I am deprived of my ideal lengths of time in which nothing is happening in my life. I cannot admit that I am in any way vexed at this change of course, but it most certainly has left something to be desired in my duty to record my days. Some things, however, do not follow the same course as the rest of my life, and remain steadfast and aggravating in their enduring ways. For instance, as an entire family, Abigail, Mr. and Mrs. Hegwood, and of course myself, have been living in one room for the past fortnight and then some due to the constant construction upon our home. I firmly believe on this current course we shall never be permitted to have a suitable home, and shall end our existence living out of a single room whilst the promise of privacy and grandeur dangle so aggravatingly close before us, yet just beyond our desperate grasp.

What is worse, Mr. Hegwood and Mrs. Hegwood have been in a perpetual battle over the front facade of the house for at least this entire week. Each day until this I have left the shared bedroom to come to breakfast to hear "No, Mr. Hegwood, I shall NOT allow it! NO COLUMNS!" Drift down the small corridor, whilst Mr. Hegwood, always the face of calmness and reason, turning an unhealthy shade of red in deepening consternation as he makes attempt after failed attempt to persuade his wife he is correct in this matter.

I have never seen a man so fixed upon the idea of great roman style columns to adorn the front of the Estate in all my days. I have yet to say anything to either of them for fear of invoking any sort of wrath, but I conclude I must agree with Mrs. Hegwood for once, and, as shocking as it is to me to admit, confirm she has the most sense of the two about it. I have told Abigail more than once whilst walking the grounds; "We do not live in a great Grecian temple, we will be living in a moderate brick home in America, and I do not care who else on this great green continent has them, they look ridiculous." Abigail, ever loyal and sensible, agrees with me completely.

I must find a way to broach the topic delicately with Mr. Hegwood, and hope that his fatherly affection for me will not see me cast from the house, and perhaps in the best circumstances will see the house finished without the addition of columns.


I was granted a reprieve from the ridiculous repetitive system our household has fallen into when an invitation was brought to me from the Doctor, who Abigail and I have decided has an inhuman ability to know when the insanity I live in has reached a dangerous climax, and has always on hand some lovely and diverting activity in which to bring me to.

A nature walk was proposed, and of course I readily agreed, knowing nothing bring solace to my mind than the forests and wide open fields, where there is no such thing as ridiculous columns or course work-men calling out oaths every third or fourth word as they climb about my home like filthy monkeys. Mr. Hegwood, when the idea was proposed of my being allowed to travel to the Doctor to accompany him on this excursion, grasped my hands between his own and with a nearly frantic look written on his face quickly whispered to get myself gone as fast as I could lest Mrs. Hegwood make it impossible with one of her overwhelming bouts of depression which almost always require my company for many long hours on end, doing nothing but placating. I stifled a laugh and arranged my features as serious as I could make them, (for how could I not laugh at it all? Our entire lives have become nothing more than a joke, and the whole thing struck me as completely absurd), and made haste to make myself ready.

I regret only the miniscule time-frame in which I had to prepare, and can say that I looked upon the whole as most presentable, and in no way exactly DESIRABLE, which has of late been my keenest goal, and I dare someone to find fault in that. I was received, however, at the Doctor's cottage with hardly a raised eyebrow or notice that I was not my best, and from thence we together traveled to his chosen location.

I cannot commend the location enough! It was possibly the most perfect balm for my frayed mentality, and I could not have been more pleased with the company. I seem to be making regular friends as it were among these completely charming people. Mr. and Mrs. Glidden were present, as well as the General and his dear wife Mrs. Jackson, and a woman who is quickly becoming indispensable to my happiness, Ms. Jordan. We enjoyed a light dinner and chatted among ourselves (the men together and us ladies together) before the Doctor announced we were to pair ourselves up so that we may have teams in which to begin our naturalist scavenger hunt!

Ms. Jordan and myself being the only two single ladies naturally went off together and a grand time was had. We wound through the trails between the trees, picking off leaves of the local greenery we suspected were the proper specimens to win our points, collecting wild flowers, and exploring an old cemetery in which men of my mother's generation were given a grand resting place. We even made the rather treacherous journey down to the ancient spring to cool and refresh ourselves with the crystal clear water.

I admit by this point I had completely thrown propriety to the wind so that I may find solace in the nature surrounding me and pranced down the rocky and uncertain trail surefooted and free like a young deer who had grown among these forests. Thankfully, I came to no harm but I do know more than one whisper was exchanged behind a hand, and I suffered many a reproachful glance and long suffering sigh from the Doctor as I leapt across streams and gamboled over fallen trees like a wood nymph. I wish that I could be so good as to admit that on some level I cared at all what was said or viewed, but truthfully I can conjure up no such feelings, and I will say I enjoyed myself fully. I discovered, however, as we came back up the path from the spring to finish our circuit through the forest, I was quite done up, and had extended myself perhaps further than was necessary or right for my comfort to finish the day.


At one point I was obliged to take the Doctor's offered hand so that I may safely make it up a slight incline without slipping and falling to my doom. When I had quite recovered from my previous behavior, I took the opportunity to check myself and to spend the rest of the walk pursuing more dignified activities, such as wading through the waist high grass to relieve the obliging field of its most lovely wild flowers. I made for myself a small nosegay of white and yellow and purple specimens, and bound it with thread so that I may present it to Mrs. Hegwood upon my return in hopes she would forgive my hasty retreat from the house.

We all arrived back at our point of origin rather exhausted and through with the day, and took it all as a perfectly reasonable sign to depart to our respective homes. I was taken away with the Doctor in his carriage to his home, where I might meet with my own party and be escorted back to my own residence. I was full of the day just behind me, and with the rocking of the coach and the rain that had just begun to fall, that I fell quite asleep and remained so until I was quietly roused by the Doctor to exchange conveyance. I apologized to him profusely and begged his forgiveness in my providing no sort of conversation on the way home. The wonderful and accommodating man that he is he would hear none of it, and only wished me a good night and thanked me for my company that day. He handed me into my own carriage, and Abigail soon followed. I watched him as long as I could as we drove off, then promptly resumed my recovery with yet another nap. It was well past dark and supper-time when I finally arrived at the Plantation, and in such the state I was I happily collapsed into my own bed and stirred not when Mr. and Mrs. Hegwood came into the room to follow my example.

This morning I awoke so well rested and in such high spirits I even greeted the work-men who were slowly beginning to trickle in and resume their work; much to their shock. I joined Mr. and Mrs. Hegwood at the breakfast table, where, as I could have predicted, the same argument had commenced an hour before and had continued until my joining them. I listened to them whilst softly humming a tune, and when a lull had arrived that I felt sufficient, I put down my knife and fork and turned to Mr. Hegwood to say only;

"My dearest Mr. Hegwood, perhaps reconsider, the Columns I feel look very foolish, and will commend ourselves to no-one who happens to visit." I patted is hand, and got up from the breakfast table to retrieve my journal, sketch-journal, and spy-glass, and made immediate haste for the nearest copse of trees in which to lose myself in what I may find until I may deem it safe to return to the house, and two hours from that moment, I am still here, and still writing.

I hope a new invitation from the Doctor arrives soon, or the home is finished.

May 5th

After nearly a month of searching, I was entirely ready to give up my diary for lost. In the utter bedlam of relocating, nearly a quarter of my belongings have ended up somewhere between Albany, the Inn in which we stayed, and our new home, to my complete frustration and distress. In the time that we have been here, I have received packages and parcels from all quarters with things that have been lost along the way, to my mortification. sketches, notes, letters, books, music, even my stitching has arrived with a sarcastic note included, bestowing me with more care for my things. I cannot lay blame to a single participant in this excursion rightly, but it leans most often towards Jones, Mr. Hegwood's steward, who was left in charge of making sure our things were secure.

Thankfully, in short, my Diary was recovered in fine condition, not by a stranger discovering it upon the road, but accidentally hidden in with Mr. Hegwood's books in his library. My relief was profound and I could not help but embrace Abigail, Mr. Hegwood, and Mrs. Hegwood in turns, nearly weeping.

My peace was, sadly, not allowed to endure for any extended time, for Mr. Hegwood, who is always true and good to his word, decided immediate additions and repairs to the house must begin. In the future, if I am found in a similar situation of having residence in a small home, I shall be certain to leave it in the condition in which I came into it, so as not to suffer these inconveniences ever again. With little care for anyone's private space, belongings, or state of mind, men of all sorts are in, out, and above the house with even less care of their mouths and language. At least once a day Mrs. Hegwood, Abigail, and myself, being seated quietly at work, will all be startled soundly by a gruff, not to mention loud, curse being shouted at another hired hand upon the ground. It is enough to turn any well civilized lady into a course sailor, and has caused ruination to more than one sketching or writing task started moments before. I have heard more profane words in a fortnight than I had ever previously heard in my life, and I am going to take to stopping up my ears with rather large quantities of jeweler's cotton if the behavior persists. Mr. Hegwood reminds us daily that the additions and repairs will not be long in nature, and that we will be able to look forward to the future state of our new abode. He has great and ambitious plans for the property, naming it 'Novus Praedum Plantation', and swearing he will now employ his free time in the breeding of Race-Horses for the gentlemen to our north; in Kentucky, and locally.

Though with the wretched conditions at home, I have not been without my pleasant diversions when they come about. I was invited by a couple I have a general acquaintance with through the Doctor to use my riding skills in a general demonstration of ladies' horsemanship. It was such a fine thing to don my riding habit once more and sit atop a horse. I was obliged to leave Jack behind in Albany until a suitable stable could be had, which will not be long given Mr. Hegwoods plans. By that time I am sure to have my hands full of horses, and I confess, I cannot wait. I digress, however, from the event at hand. Despite a fleeting mid-day rainstorm (something I am coming to discover is common in the south during the spring-time), the event carried on without any more disruptions. The Doctor was also present, giving medical lectures to any of the public that was interested as they perused the festival, and vendors of all sorts were scattered through the park hawking their wares, as well as a few other demonstrative participants, including (much to my chagrin) a tent that allowed public to throw hatchets at a wooden target. More than once in my passage between our station and where the other horses were tied, I was obliged to call out in a rather cross tone to Hold, lest they do me some sort of harm.

Whilst I was not atop a horse, which when I could manage it was very few and far between, I spent my time sitting underneath the Doctor's tent, for the heat was at times oppressive and there was shade to be had under it. I could not tell whether or not he was pleased with my general appearance, for after our relocation due to the heat, I was compelled to cut my hair quite close, and adopt the 'Titus Coiffure'. After was all said and done, my hair could hardly have been any longer than his, and whilst I noticed many comments behind hands and sideways looks at my rather daring fashion choice, I confess I was much cooler and more comfortable than the rest present. Mrs. Hegwood suggested a choice of wigs to wear as well, to avoid any unfavorable stares, if it could be helped. I attempt not to wear them as much as I can, but I cannot feel satisfied in it when Mrs. Hegwood looks so terribly disapproving at me.

I have also received note from the Doctor, in three weeks time I shall be joining him and a few friends and acquaintances for a naturalist walk to the north of us. I have never heard nor previously been to the location, but I am informed it will be lovely and much will be seen. I am excitedly in the preparation of clothing suitable for an invigorating walk, and suitable for the theme. I confess, notwithstanding the general disarray of our home life, I would take it all ten times more again to be so close to the Doctor as we are. I have seen more of him in the past threemonth than I have seen him in the time I have been in America, and the secret pleasure and joy it gives me to be in his company is no small thing. Even if his demeanor never changes towards me in his quiet, reserved way, I could easily spend all the hours of a day with him.

April 12

There is not a single tree that I have seen that is still devoid of leaf or blossom for the past two weeks. Finally, I am to enjoy the spring after what seems like the longest winter I have known. The air smells beautiful and sweet with honey suckle and the hundreds of blossoms springing in the open fields around. I was able to enjoy the beautiful, if not slightly stifling weather in the company of The Doctor and a handful of his acquaintances at a picnic on April the 9th held in a lovely park with long sprawling stairs. It was a very breath-taking sight to see the entire hill carved into an extended staircase with each level being rimmed in stone. We walked up and down as much as I was able; for I was not appropriately dressed for such exertions in such climates; but I did manage to make it to the top to look at the view down the hill to the road, and truly what a lovely sight.

 The only unfortunate circumstance to the whole affair was the condition of the insects. I don't think I have seen ants of that size, and more often than not I was bade to remain still so that the Doctor may remove a spider from my gown, as he is all too familiar now of my crippling fear of them. At one point, Miss Ashley was so kind as to tell me there was one between the layers of my gown; and I begged the Doctor remove it hastily. Ever so obliging and calm; he did with little incident and harm to either the spider or myself, if not for a diminutive dose of inconvenience.

As much as I was desirous to enjoy myself, I was occupied in my mind of the state of our living situation. The day after the picnic, the Hegwoods and I traveled outside of Nashville proper to explore a home on a rather expansive piece of land. We were greeted by a positively charming drive that wound from the main road through a rolling green field with large trees lining the drive and scattered as far as the eye could see. We rounded the last curve to see the house, and I am embarrassed to admit I let out a cry of astonishment; and my astonishment was not entirely one of pleasure. The home which greeted us was nothing more than a single story stone cottage; hardly bigger than the stables on the property of the Hegwood Estate in Albany! The carriage came to a stop and we were all handed down; Mr. Hegwood, though better, leaned heavily on his cane for a moment, and I noticed his hands shaking more than normal. I slipped my arm through his free one and we walked to the front steps of the little building.

"Mr. Hegwood, why have we stopped at the servants quarters? You can't possibly walk to the main house in your condition!" Chided his wife as she tied her bonnet under her chin.

Mr. Hegwood looked at me with a wink and chuckled to his wife. "My dearest, this IS the main house," said he.

At that moment I was certain Mrs. Hegwood would positively die of shock, for she looked at her husband and burst into tears.

"You cannot possibly sentence us to live in this sort of squalor! Why, our things will hardly fit into this shack!" sobbed she.

"Now, now, my pet, don't you fret! The house will certainly not remain this way for long, I have great plans for improvement you know! Before you know it we shall be living in a house suitable for a country gentleman," Mr. Hegwood cried as jovially as he could, in a vain attempt to placate his wife.

Fortunately for all around, birds and beasts included, his words had the desired effect and her crying ceased as abruptly as it started.

"Truly, Mr. H? You shall not force us into this poverty-like state for long?", said she, looking as pitifully as she could at the both of us.

"It shall be a charming change of scenery, don't you think, Mrs. Hegwood?" said I, cheerily, though I did not feel as certain as the conviction in my voice. We continued forward into the house, and made the circuit of the three small bedrooms, the single parlor, and the worst excuse for a dining room that ever was, for it was separated from the kitchen by only a too short screen, and having convinced Mrs. Hegwood that proper additions and alterations could be made to turn it into a fine house, the matter was settled and the house and land was to be purchased straight away.

Abigail is to be our only maid, which I am grateful to hear, for I could not bear to part with her now, and Mrs. Hegwood could never do without some sort of maid. At the first opportunity, I made haste out of the cottage and began to walk through the field of knee high grass. It was so blessedly silent, and I was very amused to see small birds burst forth from the grass merely yards before me, chattering and calling their displeasure in being disturbed. I paused and slowly turned about me to see a portion of the tree lined lane leading to the house, and nothing but rolling green all around. I knew that in time, I could grow to love this beautiful country as much as I loved my dear home in England, for within the country around and before me, my heart was buried now.

March 17

Today marked the finest day of the season I have experienced yet. The sky was clear as anything and a steady breeze kept the conditions comfortable, if not a bit treacherous for hats and feathers. Two days previous, I had received a note from the Doctor inviting me out for a picnic on the grounds of his neighbor Daniel Smith, and to introduce me to his lovely daughters! Of course I wanted to immediately agree, but as the Hegwoods and I are still residing in temporary lodgings, I feared Mrs. Hegwood would need me too much for her comfort to consent to let me go. I sat at the window for the better part of two hours, The Doctor’s note in my hand, wondering how I would be able to decline without him thinking ill of me, or how to broach the topic with Mrs. Hegwood without inducing some sort of fit. At length I approached Mr. and Mrs. Hegwood who were having tea with the windows thrown wide, Mr. Hegwood laughing with his wife, looking almost as he had when first I came to them. What a wonderful effect the climate has had on his health. Though he is still in some types of pain, it is not at all near the condition he was in when we left Albany.

Mrs. Hegwood saw me approach and beckoned me to join them, crowing, “Come my dear Emily! Come and listen to this nonsense Mr. Hegwood has been telling me!” I smiled, and complied, setting the Doctor’s note on the table to rearrange my shawl. True to her form, before I could put it safely back into my hands, Mrs. Hegwood’s eyes caught the handwriting and quick as anything she snatched it up off the cloth.

“My dearest! The Doctor has finally sent her a note! How long he must have known she was in town, yet he waited until this moment to call upon her! Such odd behavior, I declare.”

I only could smile mildly as she scanned over the contents. When she had finished she looked over the paper at Mr. Hegwood who was patiently waiting whilst sipping his tea and looking between Mrs. Hegwood and myself.

“Well my dear, obviously something is on your mind. Do have the courtesy to share it with the rest of us lest you positively pop for containing it,” Said he, with a wink in my direction. “Well Mr. Hegwood, if this is not a declaration of some sort of intent to have her, I know not what is! He has invited her to picnic on the grounds of a notable family in the area with him and his children! What do you make of that!”

I opened my mouth in shock and could not contain the noise of astonishment that escaped me.

“Mrs. Hegwood, I beg you reconsider! It is only an innocent plot to bring me some enjoyable diversions in this rather trying time. As much as I admire and respect your imaginative tendencies, do have a care that you do not run away with it, or it with you,” said I with a laugh and a blush.

Mr. Hegwood put down his tea and set to quite a roaring bout of laugher. When he was able again to speak, said he “Well put dear Emily! Well put! I dare say against any of the snobbery of refined society here or in England you will hold your own! I have no fear of losing you to their insensible games.” He took my hand in his and gave it a warm squeeze. I returned it with a smile and looked back at Mr. Hegwood, who was still grinning in mirth, being entirely unaffected at my kind censure. Before I could even ask, Mrs. Hegwood declared excitedly that of course I was to accept his invitation, and was commanded by her to enjoy myself to every possible route and to not come home until completely satisfied and exhausted with the diversions. I thanked her as warmly as I could, kissed her cheek, and wrote back to the Doctor as hastily as I could, sending it by the quickest man at the Inn.

----

When today finally arrived I was up before the sun, pouring over my gowns, hats, and spencers, holding one up then tossing it aside unsatisfied. I finally decided on my favorites, and it was highly admired by Mrs. Hegwood. As the time approached for my departure I became more and more anxious to make the proper impressions, I was, afterall, to meet his children!

I could not, though I wished it, postpone the time any longer, and I was placed in the carriage and sent along my way, with loving farewells from Mrs. Hegwood, and even Mr. Hegwood came down to see me off, supported on his valet’s arm. I feel I ought to be suspicious of Mrs. Hegwood’s excitement, but other feelings were too crowded in my heart. Finally I arrived at the beautiful grounds, and there I saw the Doctor seated with four beautiful little girls, all in white with different colored sashes about their waists. One by one I was introduced to the sweet creatures, and never have I encountered such a set of well-behaved and fine girls of such varying ages. At last I was allowed to sit with the Doctor, and enjoy the time. We ate cheese and apples, grapes, and sweet fruit jellies.

I read to the children a bit out of the novel I had brought; ‘Pamela, or Virtue Rewarded’ and they were very attentive and interested in the story. We toured the beautiful grounds and a small trail that lead to an old Indian encampment through the woods. We investigated the herb garden, and wondered aloud when the plants would finish growing, admiring the soft lambs ear and speculating how near to a lamb it felt, as none of us had at all a clue. We took turns by the lake and admired the waterfowl that surveyed their domain in their stately waddling manner. I could not have imagined a better way to spend the afternoon, and the Roberts daughters were positively loath to part with me, and to be entirely honest I was loath to be parted from them as well. I had enjoyed the time talking to them greatly, they each had opinions and personalities entirely their own, untainted by society entirely, and an intelligence beyond each of their respective years. I have no doubts at all that they will all grow into very fine young ladies, and will be the pride of their dear papa.

Long before I was ready, it was my time to depart and join the Hegwood’s for supper. The Doctor and I exchanged out parting salutations, and he warmly gave his greetings to the Hegwoods, and graciously offered his skill if ever we needed it, and knowledge of the area and families. He lifted me into my carriage, and I thanked him most ardently for his unwavering kindness and attentiveness to our situation. We parted finally with his promise to write to me, and to invite me to further outings should he find himself invited to them.

I was full of a blissful glow when I finally returned to the Hegwoods, cheeks pink from pleasure and a touch of sun. Mrs. Hegwood promised over supper she would allow me a night’s sleep before prying every detail of the event from me. Mr. Hegwood countered with a wager she would not be able to, and a friendly banter was tossed back and forth the whole of the meal on Mrs. Hegwood’s character and Mr. Hegwood’s heartless attacks upon it. There was merriment and laughter that I had not known I missed until I realized how long it had been since the three of us enjoyed it, and I sit now warmly reflecting upon it, my heart glowing and my mind unable to settle. The clock has long since chimed midnight, and I cannot bring myself to close my eyes and sleep. I sincerely hope that now we are so much closer, I may see more of the Doctor, until I can no longer tolerate his company!

February 26

t seems that months of diligent patience and the distraction of having to carry my new family from one place to the next over hundreds of miles, (admittedly for the reason I seem to be the only one with sense in this turbulent time), has at length been rewarded. Since we have arrived nearby to the city of Nashville, I have had not a moment's peace between long days spent searching for a suitable residence for the Hegwood's and myself, and seeing that where we currently reside at the Black Horse Tavern provides every sort of comfort required. I do not reproach Mrs. Hegwood for her occasional and often extravagant needs and my having to satisfy them, only I wish them not so frequent in nature.

Today, to our collective joy, Mr. Hegwood was finally able to be removed from his bed and placed in a comfortable chair by an open window. The day was a beautiful mild one, with a gentle breeze completely devoid of the sharp bite I have been so accustomed to. It feels as though we may be very close out of this dark winter, and of that I could not find more pleasure. The good weather and warm sun put all in a generally fine mood, and Mrs. Hegwood was gracious enough to allow me an evening to do with as I pleased, as she would tend to her husband. I took the opportunity to go down into the Tavern with Abigail to enjoy some society, if not limited and at times not entirely desirable. We had stayed some time, taking occasional turns about the room and about the bit of green just around the Tavern before we retired to the small front porch of the building on comfortable chairs to watch the sun dip below the horizon and listen to the few birds brave enough to continue to chirp. Guests of the Inn and Tavern came and went with very little notice from either Abigail or myself, until at one point I found myself pulled from my daydream by a voice dearly familiar to me. I quickly looked to the stairs of the building to see the tall straight back of the Doctor, talking merrily to the Tavern keep. He had made no notice of me, perhaps for the best, as I felt my face flush dreadfully, and immediately my hand went to cover the portrait of his that hung at my breast. Abigail took quick notice, and I saw a knowing and impish smile cross her face. Of course she knew everything, for she has traveled about all over with me these past few weeks, and to fill the time we have talked of nearly everything I have written in these pages. To her credit, she said and did nothing, but gave me enough vexatious sideways glances to put my heart mind in no small amount of stress.

The Doctor went inside carrying a box under his arm, still chatting in such a blithe manner I was almost convinced I had mistaken him for someone else, but there was very little mistaking his carriage and voice, and I knew it to be him, even if he was uncharacteristically energetic. I made no move to follow him, only reaching across to grab Abigail's hand in mine. "My dearest friend," said I, "grant me the strength to get through this evening, for I fear without you I may not!" She patted my hand in a motherly way and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "My dearest Miss Waterman, think of what you have made it through until this point. One accidental, and if I may say fortuitous, meeting with your favorite will certainly not do you in." I quickly hushed her as the Doctor stepped out onto the porch again, seeming to take in and relish the evening. I attempted to act composed and indifferent, rising slowly and as silently as I could to make a retreat into the Tavern, but was betrayed by the rustling of the silk of my garments. The Doctor looked over, unaware it seems he was not alone, and entirely bewildered could but stare for a few silent moments before giving me a hasty bow, which was returned by myself and Abigail. I could just manage to squeak out a "Good evening, Doctor" before being overcome with a dark blush that the diminishing light was so good as to conceal. The salutation was returned and I was invited to follow him inside and enjoy some amusement, his ease returning and cheerful countenance putting me instantly in a more comfortable temperament. He and I played multiple rounds of 'Shut the Box' as well as 'Beggar My Neighbor'. The evening was passed with great levity, and the time was very much neglected by myself, and Abigail as well, though I can be at least partially sure she made a point of ignoring the clock entirely for my benefit.

Towards the end of the evening, the stifling heat of the small room inspired the Doctor and myself to take a turn about the property, enjoying the quiet evening and the lovely stars above, and for my part the entire lack of bitter cold. Even though the sun had sent long ago, the night still carried its gentle warm touch, and small breaths of wind tugged at my hair, and pulled my feather back and forth. I spent the majority of the turn explaining to him my unexpected presence in the area of Nashville, retelling the condition of Mr. Hegwood and our traveling southward to escape the conditions of the north. He said very little during the time, but did assure me my letters and gifts were received. Said he after a pause "I also took notice that my package was delivered safely to you, as well," looking pointedly at the miniature which I still wore. I could produce no suitable response, and smiled awkwardly with a mumbled "Indeed, very safely." We turned our direction back to the Tavern, and I stopped on the pathway, internally debating with the bravery of my tongue. The Doctor, confused, waited patiently before I quietly asked "Would it be too bold of me to admit to you, Doctor, that you were very much missed in your absence?" He was silent as we began to walk again, and said only "Indeed, that is very bold." Nothing more on the subject was said, and we returned to the Tavern having neither gained nor lost any idea of his feelings.

Guests soon started to drift back to their various locations of residence, be it nearby or in the Inn itself, and few people were left. The Doctor played a few more card games with various gentlemen, and I began to grow tired, and made my farewells and gave my thanks to the Keep for his hospitality towards Abigail and I, bid the Doctor farewell, and let him know where he may find the Hegwoods and myself, should he need to, and departed to my room. Abigail watched me the entire time in the mirror as she took down my hair and helped me out of my clothing. I gave nothing away to her, though I knew she wanted nothing more than to know my thoughts of the evening.

I sincerely hope she does not tell Mrs. Hegwood, for the last thing I could possibly tolerate from in the current state of my mind is dear Mrs. Hegwood's prattling on about the interaction, and Mr. Hegwood taxing himself worrying for my heart. I shall, for the moment, keep the entire incident to myself, until of course the Doctor comes to call, as I do hope he will soon.