October 18, 1812

or three days it has done nothing but rain with no break that is to be predicted for the future. Under any normal circumstances, this would have caused me no small frustration and annoyance, and proved terribly inconvenient, but I am learning as my time goes on here, positively nothing about life at the Hegwood Estate can possibly be considered normal. In this case, the persistent storming as given me sincere reason to rejoice in the fact that the odious Vincents have been unable and unwilling to brave the conditions to call. I have been constantly plagued by their presence for nearly five straight evenings, and during the days Mr. Vincent has taken the time and liberty to hunt me down and seek out my favorite places to ride in the mornings and lie in wait to ambush me as I pass, fabricating some reason for his waiting about in the middle of the country, and then proceeding to force his company upon me for as long as he is able. I fear he is becoming all too familiar with my sometimes overwhelming diffidence, and has tested his boundaries as far as he can on that account, and has began to exploit it, that dreadful man. I wish that I only had my sisters strength of mind and heart to battle such loathsome beings. He very well knows by now I have not the courage to be rid of him for the sake of Mrs. Hegwood. I can too plainly see it in the smirk he tries to hide from his mother and Mrs. Hegwood when he demands my company and knows I cannot refuse him.

The last time Mr. Vincent accosted me, though, I was prepared to best him in any way I could. Feigning disobedience from my gelding, Jack, I gave him leave to gallop off at a frightful pace in the crisp morning, as his feet were already dancing beneath him, and poor Mr. Vincent's sour faced nag could never hope to keep up. Jack and I were long gone before Mr. Vincent even had half a mind to give chase, and when I felt we were a sufficient distance away, I could do nothing but laugh for what seemed like an eternity, until I could scarce draw breath and tears of mirth streamed from my eyes. Good Jack, he has never let me down. I felt almost piteous for Mr. Vincent, but as truth would have it, I could only feel a naughty sense of joy for having gotten the better of Mr. Vincent.

I fear he found out my ruse, though, and punished me for it most harshly in his own manner. I received that evening a long note from him that was first passed through Mrs. Hegwood's hand, apologizing profusely for his inability to provide any sort of aide I may need in what was obviously my "imminent danger" and wished to call upon me tomorrow to assure himself of my safe arrival after my "all too terrifying flight". He kept true to his words and we received him shortly after breakfast, and he did not depart until well after supper, and I was powerless to escape and was under his thumb the entirety of his stay. His hold over my weak heart is alarming, and each day I see his confidence in it grow, and he becomes more bold with his tongue. I suppose this is the answer to his at first perpetual silence and observation. He is nothing short of a monster, and I wish to be rid of him.

To my horror, I have noticed Mrs. Hegwood and Mrs. Vincent have taken to whispering behind their hands whilst observing us and allowing for times where Mr. Vincent and I are left wholly unchaperoned. I can only dread what sort of business the two women are putting in the other's heads, no doubt ideas placed there by Mr. Vincent himself. I must find a way to voice my aversion to any sort of attachment they may be formulating, as I cannot and will not bear anymore of Mr. Vincents distressing company, most certainly if they insist on contriving a mutual affection.

Still I have received no word from the Doctor, though in truth I know he has not yet reached his home, as it is such an appalling distance from us. During these dreadful times it seems I have been desirous more and more for his calming presence, and I feel quite undone without his soothing company. I have read the few letters I have from him again and again until the words have become an old friend to me in my solitude. I feel quite alone and friendless as this all has transpired, for it seem until Mrs. Hegwood removes this foolish idea of Mr. Vincent and myself from her mind, she is but an enemy to me in this house, and I have only the mild and reserved Mr. Hegwood for company.

I wish daily to escape to better memories, but instead will take what solace I can in the rain and the absence of my charming faced and honey voiced villain.

October 13, 1812

aily life continues at the Hegwood Estate in the normal course of action, which is to say anything but normal. Perhaps it is the normal custom for the Hegwoods to sooth an aching heart and empty space by integrating themselves in society on a nightly basis, but for my part I so desperately crave and am in want of solitude and peace. Since the Doctor left, I have had little to no taste for any company other than my own melancholy mind. I have since taken to spending long hours in the back parlor, larger and the most removed from where there is the potential of unwanted, and for that matter any, attention and conversation. That room provides me with the most privacy and solitude, as well as boasts the better of the two pianos in the house, and I have found a balm for the empty space I feel exceedingly by playing for hours, and occasionally singing. Dear Mr. Hegwood, the quieter and gentler of the two, has taken to wandering in and out when mrs. Hegwood is away, sometimes sitting to listen, and offering no interruption other than the quiet click as he closes the door behind him when he leaves, but for the larger portion of my time spent there, I am so wonderfully, and so dismally, alone.

I have begun to watch daily for the post, hoping each time for a letter from the Doctor, though it is but three days since his departure and he left me with no promise of writing to me. The routine of waiting, however; has left me with something else to fill the loss, when the music is not always enough. I did, however, receive another note from Georgiana, as well as a wonderful gift of positively sublime silk in a shade of olive green that I do so adore. Such a kind gift did wonders for my heart, and now I must decide what I wish to do with it, a task which I can be assured will take much of my mind away from the dear Doctor.

Autumn has finally arrived with no want of ceremony, supplying a spectacular display of colors spanning from the brightest yellows and golds to the deepest and richest of reds and auburn. I have taken to the gardens in the afternoons when the weather is warm enough to try and capture the beauty of the patchwork hills around the Estate in watercolors and oils, with few successes, as the beauty is so striking and wild I cannot seem to capture it on canvas. I have sent the only ones I felt suitable to keep on to Mama and Papa for their pleasure, and one also to Kathryn to place in her home. I have heard very little from them all, but it is to be expected as Kathryn's condition progresses. I believe I now have to place my desires for familial comforts in the all too capable hands of the Hegwoods, who have by all accounts supplied me with more of the sort than I have ever had in recent memory, even in my own home.

Mrs. Hegwood has begun her 'duty', one could say, of fulfilling that service by inviting all sorts of varying company in what I suspect is her attempt to distract me from my ever persistent doleful and disconsolate temperament, and to find for me a suitable companion other than Abigail and the household cat, who I would prefer over any body presented to me as she cannot speak, and therefore cannot annoy. I have named her Penelope, and we have grown attached to one another, and she has even taken on the colder nights to sleeping beside me, much to Mrs. Hegwood's antipathy.

Yet for all of my detachment from these current events, one person in the parade of bodies in and out of the house in the past three days has in fact provided me with adequate distraction, though I am sure it is not in any way the manner which Mrs. Hegwood had intended. Mrs. Hegwood's closest friend, Mrs. Vincent, a very loquacious woman with stories often as expansive as her figure, has taken to including her eldest son in her visits, which I can only attribute to Mrs. Hegwoods suggestion for my benefit, as he was first introduced to me the very day the Doctor left. I can only surmise Mrs. Hegwood thought me in want of company on such a day of somber events, though my actual desires could not have been more contrary to her assumptions. The Vincents dined with us that night, and after supper I entertained our little group by playing the piano, then singing whilst Mrs. Hegwood accompanied me. Mrs. Vincent, in her usual fashion, praised and lauded the entire show far above and beyond what was necessary for the performance for much too long, only so that she could hear herself make pretty speeches. Mr. Vincent, so drastically the opposite, said no more than ten words to any of us gathered the entire course of the evening, but every time I chanced a glimpse in his direction, his gaze was affixed upon me in a most unsettling manner. Mr. Vincent outwardly is not an unpleasant person, as his features were very fine and pleasant indeed, but I fear if he always carries on in such an awkward and uncomfortable manner, that they alone will be his only saving grace.

The Vincents came again this evening, and it was much the same as it was the first time. Mrs. Vincent scarce drawing breath, and seemingly determined to talk us to death or crush us with the absurdity of her recollections, whilst Mr. Vincent spoke hardly a sentence longer than five words if you were lucky enough to pull one from him, but all the while watching me! After we dined, instead of providing more musical entertainment, I was obliged at the request of Mr. Vincent to participate in a game of chess with him, though I have little skill and even less desire for it. Again and again I tried to make some attempt of pleasant conversation, but it was very akin to speaking with a piece of furniture, or perhaps a plant, and when he was not deciding his next move, he persisted in watching me with no emotion. He made me so dreadfully uncomfortable that I could bear it no longer, and pleading unwell, I made a hasty retreat and escaped to my fortress of peace and sanity, with my favourite of companions waiting for me; the cat.

I am informed by way of Mr. Hegwood wishing me a good night, that Mr. Vincent means to call tomorrow afternoon, this time without his absurd counterpart, Mrs. Vincent. For reasons I cannot explain, I find this knowledge vexatious and distressing, and I dread the moment where I must be confined to his presence for sake of polite company. Even now, in my mind, I can still see his wretched gaze, staring at me through unfeeling blue eyes, and it quite honestly, they frighten me. How I wish the Doctor were here.

October 10, 1812

he Doctor left too early this morning, and I was not prepared yet to say farewell. I slept not a moment this past night, and though it has been hours since his departure, I feel his memory through the empty house. His company these past days has been a most welcomed disruption in our daily lives. I know not how I missed him after the pleasure weekend at the Farnsley-Morman Estate until his arrival at the Hegwood Estate last Monday evening, and I set eyes upon him again. He was of course wholly unchanged in such a short while, but I did notice his ever rare yet engaging smile came easily and remained longer then last I recall. He was most polite and charming to the Hegwoods, and ever obliging to their persistent teasing. For the majority of the week he was absent from our company as his trip was not solely for leisure, but mainly for business. The evenings, though, were all ours, and were spent in merriment with idle talk, cards, and other amusing activities. The Doctor even taught me to play a charming game called "One-and-Thirty" much to his demise thereafter, as I lost not a single round in all the time we played. I should have played for money, but I believe I won enough of his pride that night to suffice.
On Friday, we even ventured to the coast for a picnic, and I swear in my time in New York I have never seen the ocean so blue, nor the weather so fine. Seeing the ocean seemed to please the Doctor immensely, and it pleased me to see him smile so much. He even risked getting his boots wet more than once to peruse a small little tunnel made in the rocks with many carvings all about it from previous visitors. His curiosity was most charming in its almost childlike fascination.

Saturday, as the Doctor had no business again, brought another sort of busy day in which Mrs. Hegwood insisted upon calling on everyone she possibly knew in town to present to them the Doctor, which she had no doubt regaled with stories regarding both of us, and I am certain what she did not know she filled in with her own versions. All the while the dear Doctor remained perfectly cordial and polite, albeit quiet and very reserved. Who is to blame him? I was most impressed with his patience during the entire ordeal, at times I think there is no end to it, and the man should be brought up for sainthood.

Time slipped past us entirely unnoticed during the course of the day, until it was brought to our attention how very late the hour had become and the sun was quickly fading. We had lost almost all of our time to prepare for the ball! Mrs. Hegwood was nearly beside herself upon realizing how behind our schedule we were, and I confess her distress was infectious and I myself was in a bit of a state, as I do so hate to be late to anything. After a such a length of time previouslty thought impossible, our small party which included Ms. Liebert, Mr. Simmons, the Doctor, and I, departed in the carriage in high enough spirits and feeling very fine indeed. I felt especially lovely despite myself in my newest frock of white muslin with white-work around the sleeves and hem, with bright red silk trimmings, and it seemed well received by my party, the Doctor included, who was sure to compliment me more than once through the night.

The location of the ball was a painfully long journey of an hour, and since we were required to take the longer route, adding even more to our late schedule, I felt my mood begin to sour. This was not helped by the poor condition of the roads and the poor directions we were given. I was resolved not to arrive to the ball in a state of agitation, but as time wore on I felt that resolve wane, and by the time we finally arrived I excused myself from my party to have a few moments in solitude to compose my temper and remain the face of sweetness; for the Doctor's sake, as I would not have him see me so terribly ill-tempered.

When the dancing ceased momentarily as to allow a break for the musicians, I took the opportunity to introduce the Doctor to the few acquaintances present, and he was very well received by all, and showed no signs of having been present for grave amounts of distress just hours earlier, to which I am eternally greatful.

I fear I lost sight of the Doctor shortly after his introductions and the music started again, as I was hastily accosted by friends and berated with questions regarding the Doctor, as well as called away to dance. I oft looked for the Doctor among the crowds, worried he would be left quite alone and feeling abandoned, but each time I spotted him, he was dancing with Ms. Liebert, or speaking with Mr. Fox or Mr. Seeley.

As the night wore on, I was beginning to think I would never get a chance to dance with him, and felt perhaps I had not honored his request of my company well enough. The last dance was called as a waltz, and I felt certain the rather old fashioned Doctor would have little to no interest in this new dance, but I was pleasantly surprised to see him suddenly before me, holding his hand out for me with a small, secretive smile. I happily placed mine in his, and he led me confidently to the floor, saying nothing and giving away nothing. The music started, and I was immediately swept up in a dream. The Doctor despite any of his previous claims was light on his feet and a wonderful dancer, and what is more, he knew how to waltz! I felt as though time itself disappeared. Well before I was ready, the music ended, and the world came back to present, and suddenly I needed to escape. With a hasty courtsey, I left the Doctor on the floor and made for the small gardens at the back of the house. I found an empty bench away from the crowds and sat down, watching the company slowly break off into small groups to talk, or to make for their respective carriages.

My heart could not beat any harder, lest is beat right out of my chest, and I sat deep in thought, a crease in my brow as my mind traveled to what just had happened. I did not even notice the Doctor approach my corner of the garden until he spoke, startling me out of my reverie. "I did not know anyone could look so cross at such a merry place, Miss Waterman", said he. Not wanting to expose myself and my thoughts, I provided some excuse such as our late arrival as explanation to my mood. He stood in silence, then sat at the bench across from me, close enough to let his knee brush across mine! I glanced down, but said nothing to point it out.

He noticed me fingering the torn loop of my dress, which was to hold up my skirts from under my feet, and inquired if any other damage had been done. I replied that no, thankfully, other than a few stains from dirty boots that were placed by the same gentleman who was clumsy enough to trod upon my gown causing the damage. The Doctor asked after which gentleman was the culprit, and after a description and his name, the Doctor produced the most mischievous grin I have seen on a grown man, and quickly stood up and looked about. Upon not seeing the aforementioned gentleman, he turned to me and said "Ah yes, Mr ---. Have you noticed, Miss Waterman, that Mr. --- has such a particular way of standing,very similar to this-" wherein the Doctor splayed his feet in a most awkward and ungraceful manner, and continued, "to where he looks very much like a duck!" With this he put on quite a show of mimicking the particular gentleman in his style of dancing and walking, all the while quacking in a most undignified manner until I was quite overcome with laughter and tears sprang to my eyes. Satisfied he had pulled me from my gloomy humor he sat back down in his previous place, still grinning like a naughty schoolboy when I chastised him for behaving so.

Silence finally descended upon us once more, and again he allowed his knee to brush mine. I am sure he had something more to say to me, but his attention was diverted to Ms. Liebert, who was waiting by at a respectable distance, signifying our carriage has been brought around at last and was ready for us. Before we rose, he stayed me just a moment longer, looking at me with a rather distracted and suddenly shy glance, and asked me in a low tone "Miss Waterman, would you be so kind, rather, would you do me the honor of..would you..would you be opposed to holding my hand whilst in the carriage for our journey to the Hegwood Estate?". He shifted during the whole speech uncomfortably, and looked everywhere but me, and displayed such a charming state of shyness I could not help but tease him. To him I responded with a kind laugh, "My dear Doctor, are you in fear of either of us losing our balance and falling whilst seated in the carriage?" He looked at me so earnestly that my teasing tongue was immediately reproached by myself, and I softened my smiled. He responded after some time spent fidgeting and searching for the right words, telling me "Well...No..I just...I just want...to." To this, I blushed and lowered my eyes to look at my hands clasped about my fan in my lap, and to our knees, still touching. "Then, my dear Doctor, it would be my honor and pleasure to do so, but you must promise not to tell Mrs. Hegwood, as she will either scold me or tease me until I cannot bear it any longer and do something rash!". He seemed satisfied with this answer, smiled warmly at me, and we stood, and he wrapped me gently in my shawl. With my arm through his we made our way through the crowds to our carriage.

To our advantage, Ms. Liebert and Mr. Simmons were so...distracted they failed to notice as the Doctor slipped his hand beneath mine on the seat beside me, and for the rest of the trip home, it moved not from that place, and I made no motion to change that, as I was quite content to have it remain as it was, and for longer if given the choice, but alas we had arrived too early at the Hegwood Estate, and our happy evening was coming to a close. No words were exchanged as we entered the house and as he escorted me to my room. I looked up at him, and without knowing he was looking down at me our eyes met for a few remarkable moments before he offered me a bow as a swift goodnight, finally releasing my cold hand from his. He left with no words, and as he entered his room at the end of the hall, he spared a moment to look back at me, and there I stood transfixed, my face illuminated by the candle and my hand on the door.

I will never forget how his eyes, ever entrancing to me, looked at that moment. When dawn came at last after my sleepless night, and we were forced to see the Doctor away back to the South, the image remained with me still, and has carried all the way to this moment. I refuse to make any admissions of anything yet, as I know nothing and can make no sense of what I feel, but I will at least admit this; the Doctor has made a dramatic and somewhat frightening impact on me since I have known him, and I still cannot work it out. I cannot compare it to my feelings I had once for Mr. B--, they are entirely different yet so much the same. I shall write to Mama, Kathryn, and perhaps even Cousin Georgiana directly, and beg for advice to aide me.

There is an empty space in the house where the Doctor once was, and I believe all present in it feel it sharply.

September 28, 1812

most exciting letter arrived today from the Doctor as if reading my very thoughts. To my initial disappointment, it was a very brief letter, a bit unlike him, and looked as though it had been squeezed onto a spare bit of paper next to a very fascinating sketch. However, this time I was not distracted by what was around the content of his letter, for all my focus was on the wonderful news he presented me. The Doctor is journeying north to New York for business and has informed me that he will be breaking his journey with the Hegwoods for a time! He also informed me that whilst he is in New York he plans to attend a great ball to be held here in honor of the Congress of Vienna! How surprised was I to discover his interest in such a festive and social gathering. I was quite taken aback as he also requested my company whilst in attendance at the ball! I fear my cheeks began to burn instantly at the thought, and I glanced up to notice Mrs. Hegwood watching me as I poured over the letter during breakfast, and was entirely unable to hide my excitement. When I finally put the letter down after reading it over at least three times, my smile giving me away entirely, Mrs. Hegwood clapped her hands together and broke into such a fit of uproarious laughter I never heard, and could only watch her dumbfounded.

I later discovered from her that the Doctor had written ahead to Mr. Hegwood for permission to dine with us and then for my company at the ball. Of course Mr. Hegwood accepted with great pleasure, and Mrs. Hegwood begged it to be a secret until the Doctor write me himself. What wretched teases they are! It finally shines a light on their various bouts of laughter after passing looks and dare I even hazard winks back and forth for the past week.

Regardless, I could not be more excited for the Doctor's approaching arrival, and will be pleased by the change of company in this oft empty feeling home. I have written immediately to the Doctor accepting his request of my company most happily and greatfully, and hope that he receives it before his arrival. I do not wish for him to think I have disregarded his most flattering offer, and am honored to accept, as I told him.

Mrs. Hegwood is nearly breaking down my door in the most polite manner possible, as she is most desirous to once again venture out and spend yet more money in the efforts to dress out myself for the new occasion. cannot say I am not excited for the prospect, I feel now I have someone else to take into consideration whilst choosing my frocks and hats.

Dear me, am I warming toward the Doctor?

September 25, 1812

he time passes so slowly since I have been home in New York. That is not to say there has been by any means a lack of activity for it has been quite eventful, but heartbreak makes my hours linger and my mind dull.

Mr. B- received my letter sent to him whilst traveling to America, after all. When I returned from the weekend in the South, there was a letter awaiting my attention. To my surprise, it was untouched by Mrs. Hegwood, even though it was plain to see who it was from, and I am positive that Aunt Elizabeth told her what she told the Doctor in regards to our ‘conduct’. I cannot thank Mrs. Hegwood or show her my gratitude properly for her discretion and respect of my privacy, for that would then break the confidence of the Doctor, who allowed me to read the personal correspondence from my Aunt to him.

I wasted no time in engrossing myself in his letter, not even taking time to remove my gloves or hat, only to stop up short as my first letter fell to my feet. I retrieved it with shaking hands as my eyes were affixed to the words obviously hastily scribbled out with little regard for the recipient. Mr. B-s words were nothing short of the most wretched way to break a heart imaginable, and took great liberties in stepping upon mine.

My letter to Mr. B was as follows:

Dearest Mr. Brennan;

As I am no doubt thousands of miles from my dearest and most beloved home and family, I fear I cannot keep my feelings to myself lest I never see you again and they die unspoken.
Since you returned from the coast and I first laid eyes upon you since we were children, such a growing admiration and affection towards you has grown and I hardly know how to understand it. My every thought since I departed England hand your company has been upon you and many a tear has been shed under the threat of my possible permanence away from you. I have oft dreamed of your appearance in America to rescue me from exile to which I have no understanding, and bringing me back to England. I know that Madeline has an idea of my regard for you, and I do not doubt her full support. I know that the only person to which the idea would be displeasing is my Aunt Elizabeth, but I promise you that I would forsake her fortunes and forsake her affections if only you were to tell me you felt the same.

I beg of you to write to me the moment you receive this, and will look for your response every day that I am in America.
With all my heart I am and remain,
Ever yours

Emily Waterman

Mr. Brennan’s response to myself is as follows:

Miss Waterman,

I received your letter sent to me over-seas with a great shock. I was entirely unprepared for such confessions and most certainly taken by surprise they came from you.
However; I must immediately be so good as to inform you that I am promised to the Miss Penrige of London, and we will be married by the end of the month of September. 

To continue, I cannot fathom under what pretext you would consider my returned affections and under what delusions you would have of your eventual rescue by myself. I have never had the slightest intentions or interests in you, Miss Waterman, and would not dream of putting my life at risk to return you to England, I leave that to your most impulsive and ridiculous Aunt and would not for all her fortunes or your fathers put myself in any connections to you or your family.
I beseech you to put this ridiculous notion out of your head immediately as I assure you I have. I have returned your previous letter as I will have no use for it in my life.

Know that regardless of all I have said, I wish for you health and happiness in your life in America, and ask that you not write Madeline in regards to the subjects covered in this correspondence.

I am, Madam,
Charles Brennan

I have spent my recent time in a most pathetic state, and dear Mrs. Hegwood asked me no questions, and provided nothing but unconditional care and kindness. I confided only in Abigail, who declared Mr. B- the most abominable of characters imaginable and a wealth of insults that made even herself blush and me to laugh until tears came to my eyes. I have recovered I feel almost entirely with such wonderful company about me, and neither Abigail nor I will tolerate his name being mentioned in my presence. I have made Abigail promise to not tell a soul in the house for fear it will get to Aunt Elizabeth who will see it fit to transport me back to England now that Mr. B- is no longer a threat. I quite frankly do not wish to quit America yet; it has won my heart and is becoming comfortable.

I received an unexpected but greatly appreciated letter from my favorite and ever amusing Cousin, Lady Georgiana Sully. It has been such a considerable time since I had heard from her last and it was the exact balm for my wounded heart. She has obviously been fully appraised of my situation, and her skill of finding gossip did her much credit this time, as she informed me of Mr. B-s appearance in Bath with a certain Ms. P off his arm, I can only assume the same her mentioned in his letter. Georgiana also took liberties with her pen furled by what I can only imagine as my Aunt’s telling of my correspondence with the Doctor, predicting marriages and all sorts of feeling that I cannot say I nor the Doctor possess. Why, as I told her, the Doctor would not so much look at me with interest of that sort as I would have a chance of Mr. B- suddenly looking at me with the same thoughts. Bless her, I know she is only keen on my heart’s well-being, and do not reproach her for her over-excitement.

I do hope that she writes me more, as her guidance would always be much adored, as Kathryn’s life is much too busy, now that she is expecting! Soon things will be very different for Mama and Papa, and I fear soon I will be almost forgotten entirely in the excitement of the approaching new beginning.

I also hope to receive something from the Doctor. I have discovered myself missing his company of late, and could do with the diversions of his letters.

September 19, 1812

ast night proved just as cold as the first, and just as uncomfortable, but again I would not change my situation for the world. Exhausted as I was, though, I slept little; my mind continuing to chase these new thoughts in circles around and around and I could get no peace. I willed morning to come quicker, desirous to see the Doctor again, and to speak to him, despite my better judgement.

When finally the sun did rise I rose with it, trying to will my aching body to move more comfortably. I dressed today in my dark blue gown with lighter blue muslin jumper. It was not my finest frock, but I was not in the mood to be in discomfort today, as I knew in the evening I would be traveling back to New York, and would likely have no time to change. I dug out my favorite gold and black shawl, donned my new straw hat for I was seeing more sun than I would have liked upon my face, and ventured out in the dull morning air. I was to discover that the Doctor had not risen yet so I sat with Mrs. Graham and Mrs. Mudd and conversed about clothing and fashion. I found the time with them was very enjoyable and passed very quickly, and I am missing it considerably now.

Before too long, the doctor appeared walking beside the very amiable Mr. Minnis who was shuffling a deck of cards as he walked. They joined us at our table and suggested a few games to pass the morning until the day's activities could begin. Mr. Mudd who also joined us attempted to teach our little group how to play a game which I cannot recall the name of, but shortly after he began he came to the realization that he had lost us in his explanation, so he gave the cards to the Doctor who taught us to play Speculation which I delighted in. We played through a few rounds before the rest of the camp finally began to rise, and at eleven it was decided the weather was perfect for a walk of the grounds we had not yet explored. We started with a large group but as we ventured further from the house the vast majority of the ladies dropped off and returned to camp.

As we made our way through the small wooded area behind the house gardens, we were suddenly greeted by an abrupt end of the trees and a wide green field lay before us. My heart leapt in my breast and my breath caught upon seeing it and I slowed to properly take in the beauty of it, my eyes wide with wonder. The grass blew across the field in waves of silver and green and in that moment I felt so at peace. I could tell the Doctor was watching me. We had not spoken much at all that morning other than a short morning greeting and now I looked at him and I could not contain my smile. I confided in him quietly when the rest were out of earshot that the field before me made me want to just run across it and feel the wind upon my face. He looked at me with raised brows and I swear I could tell he was forcing himself not to smile at my childlike wonder. "Miss Waterman," said he; "That would be most improper..", my face fell as I knew this and had hoped he would not mention it, but he continued upon seeing my eyes; "but I will tell no one if you choose to do so."

Given that slight permission I immediately gathered up my skirts and took off as fast as my legs would take me. Such delicious freedom! Such unbound joy! I felt as if I were a fawn, leaping through the tall grass as swift as the wind, my hat falling off my head to hang about my neck from the ribbons. I was certain I could just fly away.

All too soon, however, I had caught up with the rest of our group and slowed before they became any the wiser to my dash through the grass. Mrs. Mudd turned to me when I caught up with her and began to say something; but stopped short upon seeing my heaving breast, shining eyes, and flushed cheeks. She laughed at me and I put my finger to my lips, she had figured me out but would keep my secret.

By this time we had walked a considerable distance from the house and could see across the field a small brick chapel standing alone amongst overgrown trees. All that was left of our group was Mrs. Mudd, Capt. Cushing, Mrs. Dubbeld, the Doctor, and myself, and they stated they would go no further for the heat. I was very keen on seeing the small chapel up close, and with no objection from the rest of the group, the Doctor and I carried on alone.

For much of the way he and I walked in silence, looking everywhere but at the present company. Occasionally he would stop to observe some manner of plant or insect and I would patiently wait whilst he mumbled to himself about its properties. Finally, I could bear it no longer, and after a few false starts I spoke what was on my mind since the day prior. To him I said "Doctor, I hope that you realize that my Aunt is so prone to exaggeration and, dare I even say it, falsehoods regardless of the feelings of whatever party involved, and hope that you can understand that there are two sides to this tale she has told." I watched my feet parting the long grass and we carried on in silence for a bit longer before finally he replied "My dear Miss Waterman, I hope that you realize that I am an experienced adult and perfectly capable of formulating my own opinions of people from my own observations." No more on the topic was mentioned and I felt I had been given a sufficient answer to my many questions, albeit short.

As we approached the chapel we discovered that our original path was disrupted by a deep ravine which I could not have crossed. The Doctor, after observing our surroundings, quickly discovered an alternate and less treacherous route and finally we made it to the chapel. Such a sad and rather decrepit little building it was! Entirely shut up and boarded. To think I had risked my muslin on the blackberry brambles and my ankles on mole hills for it.

Disappointed though I was, I still felt the walk had not been a waste, for the Doctor and I were able to be in one another's company without other eyes, and it put me more at ease, though I cannot say why.

The alternate route we chose leading away proved more difficult than leading to it, and once or twice my footing and balance was at a risk so the Doctor obligingly offered me his hand for support and I gratefully took it. Out of harms way, though, the Doctor still held my gloved hand in his, and I politely said nothing but I could feel my heart begin to race and my cheeks flush as I walked just behind him, seeing my small hand buried in his. He seemed to realize the situation shortly after I did , and cleared his throat before saying to me "I do not believe it is necessary for us to still be holding hands." and released it. I could not fully hide my smile and looked away so that he would not see it either. How my heart fluttered! I only wish I could understand it and his behaviors.

We continued to walk in silence and the Doctor abruptly stopped before a small sprig of bright yellow wild flowers, crouching before them to examine their appearance before plucking them up from the ground. He looked at the sprig from all angles before handing them to me saying "If you would, Miss Waterman, I seem to have forgotten my vasculum". I obliged and took them, stating perhaps they might have been more lovely in their proper place in the ground. He looked at me with a frank expression and said to me in response "No, I think they are even lovelier where they are right now", and gave me a brief smile before turning on to walk further. I was grateful for his back being turned to me as I am positive I was blushing furiously. The flowers never did find their way into the vasculum, and I hold them in my lap this moment in the coach.

Before long we had arrived back at the house and took the opportunity to cool ourselves and take a bit of refreshment as the day was warming quickly. We toured all through the house and I fear I fell madly in love with it.

We had almost lost track of the time entirely and realized that we had better make hate to Lady Rockhold's camp for another afternoon tea. There was another splendid arrangement of things to eat ad the flavors of tea were spectacular. Lady Rockhold loaned me a copy of 'Pamela' to read whilst everyone was speaking amongst themselves and within moments I was entranced and found it difficult to put it down, but as the Doctor was called upon to read a piece from Henry V, I was obliged to redirect my attention. He did the speech much justice indeed and I was most impressed with the feeling in which he read. Perhaps if our paths ever cross again I shall ask him to read more Shakespeare.

After tea, the Doctor was once again requested to make another demonstration, and since I found myself unoccupied that day I accompanied him to watch and be informed. I was joined shortly thereafter by Mr. and Mrs. Houston, Mr. and Mrs. Mudd, and Mr. Minnis. It was a most enjoyable performance, and the crowed continued to grow so that the room was full and every seat taken. At one point, he even called upon me to assist him in showing how to use one of his instruments to listen to one's heartbeat, and as he laid it on my chest and put his ear to it felt as though my heart would beat right out of my chest. He noticed it immediately and to the crowd made a comment on it. I could not tell him when he asked that having him so close to me would cause my heart to make such movements at any time, but only smiled and went quickly back to my seat.

His presentation ended, and he collected his things whilst I waited silently by. The hour was getting late and my coach back to New York would be arriving soon. A new silence had descended over the Doctor, and I could only suspect it matched mine in purpose. Why, I was loath to leave! I discovered I had enjoyed myself with the new friends I had gained more than I had ever expected or hoped, and did not want to part their company for all the world.

Before I was ready against it, my things were packed in the coach to take me away, and the Doctor helped me in, pressing my hand gently in his and wished me safe journey back to the Hegwoods. He told me he would write me soon. It has already been an hour since last I felt his hand upon mine, but I swear I can feel it still. It has made me realize, just this moment, that I have not given Mr. Brennan a single though at all today. What is this that I am now experiencing? It is all so new. Perhaps I will write Mama and Kathryn when I arrive back in New York and ask advice.

I miss the Doctor's company already.

The point in which Miss Waterman falls for the house.

A snuck glance provides Miss Waterman with a memory of the
Doctor that will remain with her forever.