October 18, 1812

or three days it has done nothing but rain with no break that is to be predicted for the future. Under any normal circumstances, this would have caused me no small frustration and annoyance, and proved terribly inconvenient, but I am learning as my time goes on here, positively nothing about life at the Hegwood Estate can possibly be considered normal. In this case, the persistent storming as given me sincere reason to rejoice in the fact that the odious Vincents have been unable and unwilling to brave the conditions to call. I have been constantly plagued by their presence for nearly five straight evenings, and during the days Mr. Vincent has taken the time and liberty to hunt me down and seek out my favorite places to ride in the mornings and lie in wait to ambush me as I pass, fabricating some reason for his waiting about in the middle of the country, and then proceeding to force his company upon me for as long as he is able. I fear he is becoming all too familiar with my sometimes overwhelming diffidence, and has tested his boundaries as far as he can on that account, and has began to exploit it, that dreadful man. I wish that I only had my sisters strength of mind and heart to battle such loathsome beings. He very well knows by now I have not the courage to be rid of him for the sake of Mrs. Hegwood. I can too plainly see it in the smirk he tries to hide from his mother and Mrs. Hegwood when he demands my company and knows I cannot refuse him.

The last time Mr. Vincent accosted me, though, I was prepared to best him in any way I could. Feigning disobedience from my gelding, Jack, I gave him leave to gallop off at a frightful pace in the crisp morning, as his feet were already dancing beneath him, and poor Mr. Vincent's sour faced nag could never hope to keep up. Jack and I were long gone before Mr. Vincent even had half a mind to give chase, and when I felt we were a sufficient distance away, I could do nothing but laugh for what seemed like an eternity, until I could scarce draw breath and tears of mirth streamed from my eyes. Good Jack, he has never let me down. I felt almost piteous for Mr. Vincent, but as truth would have it, I could only feel a naughty sense of joy for having gotten the better of Mr. Vincent.

I fear he found out my ruse, though, and punished me for it most harshly in his own manner. I received that evening a long note from him that was first passed through Mrs. Hegwood's hand, apologizing profusely for his inability to provide any sort of aide I may need in what was obviously my "imminent danger" and wished to call upon me tomorrow to assure himself of my safe arrival after my "all too terrifying flight". He kept true to his words and we received him shortly after breakfast, and he did not depart until well after supper, and I was powerless to escape and was under his thumb the entirety of his stay. His hold over my weak heart is alarming, and each day I see his confidence in it grow, and he becomes more bold with his tongue. I suppose this is the answer to his at first perpetual silence and observation. He is nothing short of a monster, and I wish to be rid of him.

To my horror, I have noticed Mrs. Hegwood and Mrs. Vincent have taken to whispering behind their hands whilst observing us and allowing for times where Mr. Vincent and I are left wholly unchaperoned. I can only dread what sort of business the two women are putting in the other's heads, no doubt ideas placed there by Mr. Vincent himself. I must find a way to voice my aversion to any sort of attachment they may be formulating, as I cannot and will not bear anymore of Mr. Vincents distressing company, most certainly if they insist on contriving a mutual affection.

Still I have received no word from the Doctor, though in truth I know he has not yet reached his home, as it is such an appalling distance from us. During these dreadful times it seems I have been desirous more and more for his calming presence, and I feel quite undone without his soothing company. I have read the few letters I have from him again and again until the words have become an old friend to me in my solitude. I feel quite alone and friendless as this all has transpired, for it seem until Mrs. Hegwood removes this foolish idea of Mr. Vincent and myself from her mind, she is but an enemy to me in this house, and I have only the mild and reserved Mr. Hegwood for company.

I wish daily to escape to better memories, but instead will take what solace I can in the rain and the absence of my charming faced and honey voiced villain.

1 comment:

  1. My Dear Miss Waterman,

    I am certain that, were I there, I could aid in curtailing the unwanted advances of Mr. V-------, But I'm afear'd that... well, I shall say no more to avoid 'spoilers'