August 15, 1812

here have been nothing but storms it seems every day and night for the past two weeks. Most of my time was spent in a daze and sometimes mercifully asleep due to the doctor's concoctions, so I recall very little. Today it is still raging; but either I am acclimating to the harrowing conditions or it is not nearly as bad as I make it to be outside. The infuriatingly cross doctor has shown a tiny streak of humanity, and implored me to continue my rest; and I have stubbornly refused and chosen not only write but to slowly dress with the aid of Abigail and sit at the closest thing to a desk I have to write at. I may regret the decision in a short time, but the days upon days upon even more of inactivity has left me almost entirely out of my mind.

During my slumber through the worst of the conditions, Abigail informs me that I avoided the better part of the excitement aboard the ship. It seems during the worst of the storm; one of our crew had climbed high among the rigging as he was instructed to do to relieve some tangled ropes for whatever purpose, and when a frighteningly strong gust of wind blew up, he was almost instantly snatched from his lofty perch and tossed cruelly to the waves far below. Abigail reports there was no effort to rescue him; as apparently there was nothing to recover at that point, he was quite gone. Thankfully, that was the only casualty, and I was greatly relieved to hear that the two young boys; Matthew and Jacob, were not foolish enough to be running about on deck in curiosity during.

Even Abigail, who to me seems unshaken by any of the worlds terrors seemed grey faced and unsettled; and informs me it was the single most terrifying experience in all of her years. It made me feel very low that she had been forced by the winds and tides of my Aunt to be in this position as well as myself; and she is such a dear woman it broke my heart to put her in any sort of danger and discomfort. She has been such a comfort to me in these days I cannot express.

The unaccompanied young lady of seventeen who has said very little to any of us since we first were thrown together has taken ill, Jacob informed me yesterday. The doctor now has his hands full with the both of us; though it is reported to me that she does not bear the same illness that I do. Instead; she has a fever that will not abate despite the doctors best efforts. We are all beginning to worry for her health; and for our own, but we are assured that it is not catching and she will recover within the week.

The captain has informed me just a moment ago that we should be arriving in New York within the month; and even more in just two weeks. My heart leaped within my breast upon hearing this, and I ache to feel the ground beneath my feet where it does not roll with my every breath and creak with my every thought. My trepidation upon meeting these new people grows with every moment; and I fear in my weakened state I will provide more of a burden for them than I already am.

I can only will the ship and the winds faster with my mind; and hope that they respond.

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